If you’re like me, the new year always brings new ideas and interests. To switch things up a bit and recharge the romance department, I asked a friend of Bedroom Chemist, Mike, to share the guy’s POV on what makes a good date night. He’s shared his three favorites below. (A quick shout out to his GF Michelle who earns BC’s GF of the year award! Michelle, you rock.)
“My girlfriend Michelle and I have been dating for just about two years now. When Emily asked me to share my favorite dates, I immediately thought of three. Each of them were super different but all of them had the same theme: we got to learn about each other in a new and different way. I think they were fun because we tried something totally out of our comfort zone which was cool.
1. Zydeco dancing at local town hall
A quirky co-worker from Louisiana wanted us to learn about her crazy culture so I agreed to try Zydeco dancing. Coming from the northeast, let’s just say it was interesting…ha! When we first got there, we felt like we were at a high school dance (for our parents). Michelle was way cooler about it than I was. She approached it with an open mind and I begrudgingly got over myself. We learned how to do a simple two step we ended up having a ball! We meet some great people and learned about some great southern music (the washboard…could be one of the coolest instruments ever used in a band!)
2. Trip to NYC and hotel suite for 2 nights
Michelle actually surprised me with this trip for my birthday and it was awesome! We had the opportunity to explore and enjoy each other’s company in the city. We had a romantic dinner at a really intimate restaurant in lower Manhattan. We explored the city together, walked the Brooklyn Bridge and hung out in Central Park. I also got to take her to the “Comedy Cellar” which is my favorite spot in the city.
3. Summer weekend in VT
After a stressful week of work we decided that we would spend some time together and take a road trip to Vermont to explore the mountains…but instead of the typical winter trip, we decided that we would go during the summer!! It was a great decision. We ended up staying at a beautiful ski cottage, which was very romantic because it was all ours. During the days, we explored the town; went to at least 10 different swimming holes, we rented bikes and rode around the town and we went to a holiday festival. During the night we even slept outside under the stars…it was a so relaxing and perfect for us.”
Thanks Mike for sharing the inside scoop on what guys look for in date nights.
My takeaway is that a new experience creates a new level of intimacy. It could be as little as line dancing or as grand as a weekend through Grand Central. Either way, keeping things fun and fresh OUTSIDE the bedroom is another way to recharge your romance beneath the sheets… or the stars for that matter. (I’ll have to get Mike to share what happened the night in VT in a future post.)
Emily here, checking in from the capital of chemistry: Las Vegas. I was lucky enough to spend the weekend in Las Vegas with my fellow Bedroom Chemist panelists, who were lucky in their own right to have fabulous husbands eager to take care of things at home so we could have fun, fun, fun!
So you’re probably wondering what a girls’ weekend has to do with jumpstarting chemistry in the bedroom. Well, I’ve got two important lessons from my trip to sin city:
(1) Girls’ weekends are one of the best ways to restock the arsenal of ecstasy. It only took a few margaritas for the tips & tricks to start to spill (thankfully not the margaritas). A few of my favorites:
- One panelist likes to tuck sexy little notes in her hubby’s pants pocket on the way to work with messages like “you look super sexy in these pants. I can’t wait for you to take them off later”. She sure gave her guy a lot to think about for the next 8 hours.
- The day before the trip, another panelist worked from home. Her hubby agreed to meet her for lunch and when he came home he found her sitting at her laptop with nothing except her sexiest lingerie and this month’s Chemist’s Kit. Let’s just say it was definitely a “power lunch”.
(2) The other lesson from girls’ weekend is that being away from your significant other can actually recharge your sex drive (remember the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder”?). When we were single, we loved dressing up in our flirtiest skirts and highest heels and having a crazy night on the town. Girls’ weekends give us an important time to celebrate and remember our own inner sexiness…the sexiness that we all felt before the routine of a relationship kicked in. (Don’t get me wrong, routines have some great perks as well: routines foster trust and reliability which enable you to starting building a relationship. All of us gals want the assurance that he’s going to call when he says he will, right?) Vegas was an epiphany: we can (and should) have both sexiness and routine in our relationships. So, on our last night in Vegas, my fellow Bedroom Chemist panelists and I made a pact: As soon as we got home, we were going to buy even shorter skirts and higher heels, have a crazy night on the town with our partners.
We’re bringing sexy back to our relationships. Will you join us?
Many of you have asked if you could learn more about what is actually IN our Chemist’s Kits. Thanks for asking! We’re more than happy to reveal what was in our fabulous March Kit… as well as share what some of our panelists had to say.
In March, we were kickin’ it old school by honoring the origin of our current romantic reverie: The Great Date Night.
Let’s face it, every one of us who are currently in a relationship started off with a mind-blowing sparks-flying pheromone-mingling Great Date Night. And so it got us thinking… how can we break free of the familiar routine of “dinner at the local restaurant where you know the waiter’s first name, followed by a movie on the couch where you both pass out by 10pm” and get closer to how date nights used to be… when you had to put some thought into it?
After talking to several panelists, we were definitely on to something. As it turns out, a Great Date Night is pretty much guaranteed to create amazing chemistry in the bedroom. And here’s why. Whatever happens prior to intimacy establishes the mood for what kind of intimacy will be experienced later. So, if your date is predictable and familiar, chances are so will be your time beneath the sheets. But, if you and your partner can conjure up a date that’s creative and sexy, you’re guaranteed to experience something equally as thrilling when it’s time to turn down the lights.
With that in mind, March’s atomic trio included products handpicked to offer endless possibilities of exciting dates and the nights thereafter.
DESIRE PHASE: “500 Great Dates”
A great Date Night can’t happen without a great date. And, with Redbook’s “500 Great Dates”, you’ll never run out of ideas! Couples who have been together for 3 weeks or 3 decades crave those just-for-two experiences to stay close and connected. Inside this book there are 500 great ideas for spending time together, some romantic and sexy, some grand, and others are just pure fun. Remember: your date sets the mood for what comes after the date so the only rule is “avoid the familiar” (because who wants familiar sex?).
From one of our panelists: “I absolutely love this book and what it’s done for our relationship. Whenever I’m out of ideas on how to keep things fun and fresh, I flip to a random page and commit to that date night this week. I’ve even picked a page and handed it to my husband to work out the details. Actually, he loves this because he says it takes the pressure off of having to plan something new and he knows I’ll like it.” -Amanda, Dallax TX
FOREPLAY PHASE: Bijoux Indiscrets Bling Bling Diamond Body Dust
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend…especially on date nights! Bling Bling Diamond Body Dust will become your favorite go-to product for date nights to instantly transform you from perfect partner to sexy vixen with just a few puffs of diamond sparkles. Before your date, puff your neck, shoulders and between your breasts for an illuminating and eye catching glow. Did we mention this body dust is edible? After your date, reapply to any areas that his lips are likely to come in contact with your skin for a sweet kissable sensation. Shimmer and you will see the gleam of pure desire in his eyes.
From one of our panelists: “I love treating myself to something flirty and feminine before a date…I guess it sort of helps remind me of my inner sexiness. The Diamond Body Dust was fab. I felt super sexy and my boyfriend enjoyed kissing me all over after dinner (if you know what I mean). He said I shimmered and tasted yummy.” -Amy, St. Louis MO
PASSION PHASE: Sex Kitten Lipstick Vibe
No date night is complete with out a little lipstick, right? Especially if this lipstick has a secret… We couldn’t think of a more appropriate product to take you from Foreplay to Passion than Sex Kitten’s Lipstick Vibe. The possibilities of how to incorporate this unapologetically sexy and ferociously fun vibe into your date night are endless. Toss the travel-sized vibrator in your purse and find a private moment to reveal it’s power to your partner (and have him reveal it to you if you dare!). Or, wait until you get home to freshen up with both actual lipstick as well as the magic of this discreet but powerful little vibe. Either way, we just know that the feminine and sexy appearance will remind you of your inner vixen at next date night.
From one of our panelists: “OMG. This product changed my life. First of all it is super cute and discreet. We’re going on a trip next week and I have absolutely no problem putting it in my luggage because it looks exactly like a tube of lipstick! Second, I’m new to vibes and I’ve got to tell you it completely transformed our sex life. I used it when my hubby and I were intimate and I’ve never experienced a more enjoyable night of passion before. I think I’m going to try a racier date night soon and bring it out with me!” -Jessica, Rochester NY
BONUS: Members were also treated to Love Elixir Warming Lotion as a little gift to keep their date nights hot! When massaged, a gentle breath becomes delightfully warm when you apply to sensitive areas.
Can you believe, all this for less than what you would spend on a monthly mani/pedi or weekly wax? That’s at least 500 original fun and sexy dates for you and your partner plus a bunch of products that you can use over and over again. Kits cost less than buying each item separately and, lucky you, we eliminate the guesswork and blush-factor of a retail store. How far did your twinkle toes get you this month?
Wish you could experience this type of bedroom bliss? Sign up for a subscription on our Order Page.
As promised, here are some of our panelist’s top ideas on how to create the taboo of “adult store” sexiness in the intimacy of your own relationship (You might want to read “Start Spreading the Love – Part I” for the context):
1) Pass the undies. Next time you are out for a romantic date night, dress in your sexiest LBD but, instead of putting your undies on, spritz them with your signature perfume and tuck them in your purse. Then, between the appetizers and the main course, slyly slide your undies into your partner’s pocket. As soon as he reaches for his wallet and finds your sexy surprise, his mind will start racing and he’ll say “check please” so fast that the only dessert you’ll enjoy is each other.
2) The rest of you. After his next big work-out offer to give your partner a massage. Warm up massage oil or lotion between your palms and start massaging him with long broad strokes on his shoulders and down his back. Begin to dig in to his muscles with your palms, arms and elbows. And, when he’s not expecting it, take off your shirt and lean in to massage him with the rest of you. Once he realizes what’s going on, he’ll throw the relaxation out the window and want to return the favor with the rest of him.
3) ‘Knot’ knowing what to expect next. Next time he comes home from the office, don’t let him hang up his tie just yet. Grab his tie, lead him into the bedroom, loosen the neck knot and gently slip the loop up over his eyes to create a makeshift blindfold. No need for any fancy moves here… The mere excitement of not knowing what to expect next will intensify his intimate experience as well as your shared bliss.
What is it about New York City that highlights the best and worst of intimacy? How did the same city that gave us the romance of a carriage ride through central park also spawn the back-alley peep show shops of Times Square?
Perched safely in Starbuck’s, as I looked up from my paper, my morning was interrupted by a porn shop staring me down from directly across the street, challenging my idyllic view of good lovin’. Excuse me Mr. Porn Shop, but didn’t Giuliani send you packing west of the Hudson in the 90s? What gives you the right to interrupt a perfectly delicious double latte
Since it is apparent to me that the neon lights of these shops were designed to only attract the XY chromosome (guys) and utterly repel the XX (gals), I asked the resident Bedroom Chemist guy (my husband) to give me the male POV on what guys like about porn shops. After he nearly choked on his black house roast in response to my question, his answer was quite surprising… “Um, not really anything”. In fact, the majority of guys I spoke with (besides my crimsoned-cheeked husband) have never even set foot inside one of those places. So what gives?
It turns out that that the good guys merely like the “idea” of porn shops… the fantasy of erotic abandonment which to them is quintessential sexiness at its core. But porn shops are still just as gross and sketchy to guys as they are to us gals. Why? The answer is simple: While the taboo is intriguing, it usually is accompanied by a complete lack of emotion or tenderness.
So guys love the sexiness but miss the love.
(Bingo! Precisely why I started Bedroom Chemist.)
So how can you and your guy create the erotic excitement of a porn shop within the caring confines of your relationship? Stay tuned for ideas in the next post.
Happy New Year everyone! (Sorry, “Happy March” just doesn’t have the same ring to it). For many of us, we’re still in the cosy confines of winter and we’ve still got that optimistic glow about what lies ahead for us in 2012.
If you’re like me, you’ve taken some time to think about (and even go so far as to write down) a handful of New Year’s Resolutions. Consider how much time we each spend on self improvement each year. Hours at the gym, days catching up on finances, months watching what we eat. While personal goals are powerful anchors and motivators for moving through life, have you ever considered setting resolutions for your romantic relationship? How much deeper would your relationship grow? How much more intimate would you feel? I bet the investment would have exponential returns.
One of my panelists sent me a Goal Setting worksheet for 2012. I’ve modified it slightly for Bedroom Chemist and encourage you to open a bottle of champagne and discuss the questions with your partner on your next date night. Get ready to kick off your 2012 “Relationship” Resolutions. Enjoy!
1. What were the 2-3 most romantic things your partner did for you in 2011?
2. What were your 2-3 most intimate experiences or events you experienced in 2011? What made them significant?
3. If you could relive 1 sexy evening from 2011 what would it be?
4. Name 2 new things you want to experience with each other romantically, or physically in 2012.
5. What are 2 changes you are willing to make individually or as a couple to accelerate chemistry in your bedroom in 2012? Agree on a date to accomplish the first one.