If this winter is kicking your butt, it’s time to enjoy some warm and delightful moments of pleasure. What could be better than a few O’s to remind us that staying indoors has its (sexy) benefits? Here are four Bedroom Chemist tips to keep you and your sex life hot during the deep winter freeze.
1- Bubbly Bath Time
One of the best ways to beat the cold and heat up your love life is with a warm dip in the tub. Grab a fragrant and sexplosive Bath Bomb, light a few candles and fill a glass with your favorite Sauvignon Blanc. Then put on some romantic tunes and invite your honey to join you. While he rests on you, gently rub his chest and massage his neck and head. Let him return the favor with a little foreplay down below, either with fingers or a waterproof vibrator.
What do we need when the temps plunge and another polar vortex is heading our way? Warm touch. Massage has been found to increase oxytocin levels in your brain (as does chocolate, but who needs the calories), making you feel more relaxed, less stressed and more connected to your partner. Try two of our faves, Massage Oil from Booty Parlor or the Ono Pleasure Massage candle. A little touch will lift your spirits and your libido, transporting you to a warm place where snow shovels don’t even exist.
3- Pleasure Yourself
Being the master of your domain, especially when the weather outside your domain is frosty, is an awesome way to beat the winter blues. Masturbation boosts your mood and your immune system. It also releases endorphins, eases stress, relieves menstrual cramps, improves sleep… need we say more? Carve out some time in your day for self-pleasure, whether with your hand, a pillow or vibrator.
4- Bedroom Chemist Kits!
If you’ve ever thought your sex life could use a little boost, it’s time for Bedroom Chemist. Our kits are overflowing with games, tips and the best intimacy products delivered right to your door, all for 30% off the retail price. In no time at all, you’ll feel like the sex goddess you know you are (or can be). Bedroom Chemist takes the guesswork out of great sex.
Don’t wait till summer to have the best nooky of your life. Order your first kit here, and no need to thank us when the fireworks in your life are not because it’s the 4th of July.
(photo credit: imagerymajestic/freedigitalphotos.net)
Moms, it’s time we talked about the crisis in our lives. No, it’s not the one happening in our schools. It’s taking place right at home, in our very own bedrooms, and it requires a swift course of action. The predicament? Our sex lives suck, and not in the good way. The solution? Bedroom Chemist, a sexy little service that will rock your world.
When it comes to moms and sex, here’s what we’re hearing: moms are having sex out of obligation, not desire, and their libidos are in the toilet. The sexual batteries that made them feel like head-turning energizer bunnies in their 20s are just about dead. They’re having sex three or four times a month, maybe. And that’s not all. Oral sex is just not happening. They’re embarrassed of their bodies and of how their vaginas look, smell, and feel. They have no interest in giving hand jobs or blow jobs. “Get it in, get it out, let’s get it over with already.” That’s the motto for many moms, especially those with young kids.
We know the reasons: fatigue, sexpectations, pressure, boredom. It’s also the mundane realities of long-term relationships. Is it even humanly possible to be in the mood for sex after hearing your partner strain for 30 minutes to empty his bowels? Most moms would agree: a woman’s erotic life after years of marriage and kids is about as sexy as six loads of laundry.
But it can get better. You know why? Because we deserve better. Sex should make us feel powerful. It should keep us playful and help us relax. We should want sex over that Skinny Cow ice cream, Real Housewives repeat, 50 Shades book, or Facebook gawk session. Call us crazy, but we think we should be having sex that is at times passionate, fun, cozy, tender, angry, forgiving, adventurous and exciting. We should hunger for sex even on days with work, kids, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, traffic, and impending (insert gasp here) visits from the in-laws.
And that’s where Bedroom Chemist comes in! Every six weeks, we send a package in the mail with treats, toys, tips and games that are specifically designed to help women feel sexy and empowered. Bedroom Chemist co-founders, who are also moms, understand that for women, having a healthy, happy sex life is not only about intercourse; it’s about EVERYTHING. It’s about romance, silliness, adventure, gentle and not-so-gentle touch, and tingles that start at our tippy toes. It’s about intimate exploration and reconnection, to ourselves and to our partners. Bedroom Chemist reminds us that we can and should feel sexy after having kids.
Who should try Bedroom Chemist? Anyone who used to feel sexy, feels sexy, or wants to feel sexy again, and anyone who wants to receive fab products for 30% below retail price. It’s seriously a no-brainer. Take the first step, please, so you don’t tell us over chocolate cake at a kid’s birthday party that your hubby says his penis is going to fall off from lack of use (yes, that happened recently). Remember that sexual goddess? She’s still there, we promise. She just needs a little bedroom chemistry to find her way out again. And when she does, she – and her orgasms – will be glorious.
(photo credit: freedigitalphotos.net)
~By Wendy Widom, Bedroom Chemist writer
I’m so thrilled to interview playwright, author and producer Anna Fishbeyn Ph.D., whose latest show, Sex in Mommyville, is shattering all the myths around women, motherhood and modern relationships. Sex in Mommyville has played at the Flea Theater and in numerous other New York venues to sold out audiences and brilliant reviews. Anna is currently developing the play for its off-Broadway debut.
1. You’ve got some serious degrees under your belt, including a Ph.D. from Columbia University. Shouldn’t you be teaching in a classroom somewhere and not starring in a self-written show calledSex in Mommyville?
A couple of years ago, I remember watching a show on TV where mothers talked about their non-existent sex lives. One woman said, “I’ve gained so much weight since giving birth, I don’t think I’m attractive, and that has made me lose interest in sex.” Another women complained: “there’s just no time, I have too much to do and I’m so tired and he still wants it, but I don’t want it anymore.”
I had just given birth to my daughter, I didn’t have a nanny, my husband had incredibly long hours, my parents were in another state and I was always alone. I was considering taking a teaching job and had just begun working on a novel when I came up with a radical idea: “Wouldn’t it be fun to write about moms and sex instead?”
I turned the job down, put the novel aside, and in between diaper changes and breastfeeding, I wrote essays about being a young, lonely mom in New York City, one of which became Sex in Mommyville. It was the story of a couple with children, trying to have sex against all odds and failing, and also about women’s hang-ups and guilt about their own desires.
2. Many of us saw ourselves as sexually powerful beings before marriage and motherhood. In your opinion, why does that change as we head into 40 and beyond?
Despite how the media portray us, I believe women blossom as they get older and become more confident about their sexuality than they ever were in their early 20s. The problem is that our society is terrified of aging and gaining weight and not being perfect (and by perfect, I mean a woman who’s already been photo-shopped and cut down two sizes on the cover of Vogue or Elle magazine). As soon as that first set of wrinkles sets in or the baby weight doesn’t disappear, we lose interest in sex because we’ve been programmed to believe that we’re no longer attractive.
Our sexuality becomes so deeply and misguidedly tied up in our looks that we cannot feel sexual until we feel we look good. To be powerful sexual beings, we need to be able to separate our desire from what society dictates to be “desirable.”
3. I get criticized frequently for writing about sex, as I’m sure you do, from both men and women who say we should keep it in the bedroom. Why are women, particularly moms, so reluctant to talk about our sexual needs and frustrations?
We don’t talk about our sexual needs and frustrations because the minute we say the word, “sex” out loud, especially if we’re past the age of 35 and have children, we fear being called a whore or a pervert or shunned by our social circles. Mothers especially are held to high standards of self-sacrifice and familial devotion.
When I started performing Sex in Mommyville at the Flea Theater, I had difficulty actually saying the title, because people instantly made assumptions about the show or about me. And I knew why: I had paired two words, “sex” and “mommyville,” that in most people’s minds should not co-exist or if they do co-exist, should not be discussed outside the bedroom. To this day, female sexuality is considered inappropriate. However, it is “appropriate” for us to look sexy, to dress alluringly, to appear available — but only for the male gaze, not our own.
4. What do you want people to take away from your show, Sex in Mommyville?
Sex in Mommyville is about one woman’s struggle to discover who she is after giving birth to two children — and to NOT disappear from society. She’s fearless in her battles with her husband, uncompromising in her love for her children, ambitious in her art and eager to live as a sexual being.
But Sex in Mommyville is also the story of her husband, a responsible, loving man trying to do his best to keep everything together: to please his wife, his children and his in-laws while juggling a demanding career. And most happily, the play is a comedy, it’s about the laughter that relieves us from ourselves and forges compromise, allowing us to connect to one another as human beings.
(photo credit: Simon Howden/freedigitalphotos.net)
This interview originally appeared on Wendy’s Huffington Post blog.
Thinking you’d prefer a warm bath and night of mindless reality TV over hot sex with your honey? No big deal, claims a recent, ominous-sounding Huffington Post article titled, “Sexless Marriage: How to Deal with a Decrease in Sex.” In it Laura Seldan attempts to show how many couples experience dry spells at some point in their long-term relationships.
We agree, to a certain extent. Many couples go through periods when one if not both partners are simply not in the mood. A decrease in libido can be triggered by anything: a life transition, physical changes or what even seems like nothing at all. But there’s another side to this story, one we often choose not to discuss, which is this: sometimes we get a little complacent, even lazy, when it comes to sex.
Esther Perel, author of “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence,” contends it’s not simply laziness that causes a lull in our sex lives, but rather the disappearance of mystery and novelty. Think back to the time when you first became physically intimate with your partner. You could hardly wait to be alone together. Sex was new and exciting. Sure, over years the novelty you felt during that period of infatuation and falling in love may have faded. But this doesn’t necessarily mean you should throw in the proverbial towel when it comes to your sex life.
In fact, it’s quite the opposite. When long-term couples find new ways to come together sexually, they can experience heightened levels of pleasure and intimacy. Which means, with a little relationship and libido TLC, great sex is right there waiting for us. To get it, we need to focus on connecting with our significant others as romantic partners and not just as roommates or co-parents. We need to communicate our fears, wants and desires, explore the ways our bodies and libidos have evolved, and find new games, toys, flirtations, sweet nothings, commands and costumes that turn us on.
So while we agree with Seldan that there will be pauses in a couple’s sex life, some of which indicate deeper trouble in the relationship, we also gently remind her and others that we need to nurture our libidos and not give in to boring sex. If we’re avoiding physical intimacy with our partner, we should be kind to ourselves and ask why. Do we need something new and different, or should we go back to our intimacy comfort zone? And what may be taking place outside of our physical relationship that’s causing a disruption within it?
Sex life lulls and even complacency will probably sneak into most long-term relationships over the years. But let’s not just give up and say, oh, it happens. And lets not always see it as indicative of a crisis. With some creativity and effort, and of course a little Bedroom Chemist, the best is yet to come.
(photo credit: vlado/freedigitalimages.net)
Halloween 2013 is upon us. How do we know, you ask? Let’s see. Is it because the local mall has already put up Christmas displays? No. Is it because we finally busted out the winter blanket instead of shivering all night? Nope. We know Halloween is here because for the last few weeks we’ve been bombarded with tacky costume ideas that include, but are not limited to, hyper-sexified bunnies, pharaohs, referees, bumble bees, pirates, pizzas (Thank you, Kristen Schaal and the Daily Show), teachers, tax collectors and the list goes on. And on and on.
Now we love dressing up just as much, perhaps even more, than most, but even we have to admit that Halloween this year has taken one too many Viagras. Listened to one too many Howard Stern shows. Browsed one too many issues of Maxim or at the very least taken one too many peeks at Kim Kardashian’s post-baby selfies. Ladies: We have had enough. It is time to reclaim Halloween, in our own empowered, fun, feisty, female-focused and orgasm-inducing way. The Bedroom Chemist way.
Halloween is all about the fantasy, and who knows fantasy better than women? We’ve been daydreaming about romance and great nooky ever since we saw Baby enter Patrick Swayze’s rustic cabana in Dirty Dancing. We can get in the mood just by thinking about Bradley Cooper twirling Jennifer Lawrence around in that boring movie we only watched because Bradley Cooper is so unbelievably scrumptious. Even for the Ryan Gosling types, we know that if you have a vagina, you have a steamy movie scene stored somewhere in your brain that helps get your juices flowing. And that brief and playful escape from reality is what a sexy Bedroom Chemist Halloween is all about.
With great joy, we present a powerful antidote to the testosterone-fueled creepiness surrounding Halloween costumes this year. It’s Girl Time. You time. Vagina time. Halloween 2013 is…. are you ready for this? Halloween 2013 is all about doing something different. Connecting with your partner daringly and adventurously. If nothing else, it’s a springboard into the orgasms you are likely to need in order to prepare for the family drama that will inevitably occur around Thanksgiving (Have no fear; we’ll have tips for you then, too). Ready?
A Woman’s Guide to Great Halloween 2013 Orgasms
1. Trick or Treat
This year, Trick or Treat is all grown up. Make a list of three tricks you’d like for your partner to perform on you. Try to make your choices new and novel, or at least activities you haven’t done in a while. In exchange, your sweetie will share three requests, a.k.a. treats, with you. Pick one or, if you are feeling particularly audacious, do all three on or before the 31st.
Ideas include but are certainly not limited to: Massages, oral sex, dirty talk, foreplay or intercourse with a vibrator, licking chocolate/caramel/popcorn off each other’s bodies, a new position, rub-a-dub-dub in the shower, erotic dancing, midnight sex, the trifecta (oral sex, digital sex, with a finger up the derriere), pretending to be Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence in that boring movie, or anything else that turns you on.
2. Switch it up
Are you always seeking to be in control before, during and after sex? Then shake things up! Here is what one Bedroom Chemist subscriber recently shared with us:
“Your kits are making me so much more daring. Just last week, I finally let my husband live out a fantasy he’s had for a while. He was the jail warden and I was a prisoner he wanted to have sex with. Even though it was scary and totally out of my comfort zone, I went along with it. It turned out to be the best sex I’ve had in years because I finally let go. I don’t know why, but I think it also made me nicer to him afterwards.”
3. Dress for Sexcess
Costumes are fabulous and dressing up is a great way to add some spice to your sex life. But remember: just because it’s Halloween doesn’t mean you need to embody a porn-inspired version of desirable. A friend of Bedroom Chemist’s put it perfectly this week: “To buy one of those cheesy generic ‘oh I’m a sexy kitten’ costumes shows so little imagination.” Feeling sexy comes from the inside, not from a costume designed by a bunch of fellas who have no idea what makes a woman tick, let alone orgasm.
If you feel, though, that a sex kitten or French Maid costume is calling out your name this year, then to hell with what we say. This is your life and your fantasy. Whatever you decide, just make sure it’s fun and safe. Be sure it makes the skin on your chest, cheeks and neck flush with the happy red that comes along with great O’s. You DESERVE it.
Another weekend has come and gone: did you enjoy some major chemistry in your relationship (and bedroom) over the last few days? We hope so but if not, don’t fret; Bedroom Chemist is here to add some spark to your sex life this week.
Ask your partner this question, “What have you always wanted to do and we’ve never tried?” If you’re feeling a little shy, send it via text, create an e-invitation or buy a cute card and write it in there. Be mysterious and playful.
At the same time, think about what turns you on and something you’ve never tried before with your honey. Is there a fantasy you’ve always wanted to explore, a role to take on, or a position that seems a little more vulnerable than what you usually try? If nothing comes to mind, take a little time to imagine what would really get your atoms hopping.
In relationships, especially long-term monogamous relationships, it’s easy to sink into our sexual routines, with the usual foreplay, same two or three positions and not a whole lot of risk. That works well sometimes, especially when big life transitions are happening, but every so often our sexual routines need a big jolt.
If you typically take on a powerful role through sex, allow your partner to be in charge at least once this week. If you can only have sex when the stars are perfectly aligned and your partner is not ticking you off in any sort of way, get over it. Have some angry or makeup sex. Watch some female-oriented erotica. Then do it upside down, in the shower, or right when you wake up. Enjoy an entire evening of oral pleasure like you haven’t done in ages. Be vulnerable, curious and generous sexually, and new doors of ecstasy will open up for both of you.
If you’re like most, picking out the right products to increase sexual pleasure can be a challenge. To make life easy, here is one must-have item we curated for a past Bedroom Chemist kit. We have no doubt it will catalyze some hot, happy sex.
Bundle Power Bullet
Designed in the very popular mini bullet vibrator style, the Power Bullet packs three stimulating speeds into a compact body for maximum enjoyment. Buy it now as part of our 50 Shades kit and you’ll get lots of other treats as well. Let it be known: every woman should own a Power Bullet. A Power Bullet and maybe a toothbrush. That’s it.
Now don’t forget: right after you read this and share it with a friend or two (shouldn’t we all spread the love!?), reach out to your partner immediately with this question, “What is you’ve always wanted to do and we’ve never tried?” Take some time over the next few days to explore, giggle, delight in each other and let out a roar that wakes up the neighbors five doors down. You deserve it!
Since having a baby earlier this year and dealing with stepkids who have issues and having another child who had cancer, I’m physically and mentally exhausted. My baby is now 7 months old and I haven’t worn a sexy “me” bra since 2009. I leak because I’m still nursing. When my husband goes to touch my breasts, I back off and the moment gets lost. How do I reclaim my body, my breasts in particular? When my hubby touches me there, thoughts of the baby nursing turn me off completely! ~BC Fan
Women with young children often feel as if their bodies are not their own. Fortunately, there are easy ways to remember that your body, particularly your breasts, can bring you pleasure too.
Here’s how nursing moms can give their sex lives a boost:
1- Communication is Key
Whether it’s fondling your breasts too gently, touching your clitoris too hard or using a little too much tongue during oral sex, your partner won’t know if he is fulfilling your sexual needs unless you clearly say so. In a kind yet direct way, tell your husband that your breasts are extra sensitive while nursing and touching them does not get you aroused.
Together, explore other areas of your body that may turn you on. Enjoy oral or digital sex rather than focusing on intercourse. And, if you feel like it, take the time to find new pleasure spots on your partner’s body as well, so this phase of your relationship becomes a time of discovery for both of you.
2- Handy Dandy Helpers
So now you’re thoughtfully telling your partner what makes you feel good, but your brain and your breasts are still saying “no thanks” to direct touch. As mamas ourselves, we get it, which is why we carefully curate products that focus on women’s arousal. Try these:
- Indian Spice Love Oil by Good Clean Love: Pungent and spicy, this love oil makes touching, kissing and smelling a new and sensual experience. Rub some oil on your upper body (not just your breasts) and role play with your partner, pretending you’re headed off on an exciting adventure to a foreign and romantic land.
- Mimi Pasties from Bijoux Indiscrets: Bring out your glamorous side by affixing these gorgeous adornments to your breasts. They’ll help you remember that a woman’s body is also made for play and pleasure.
- ON Arouse Oil: This powerful formula awakens the nerve endings and increases blood flow. Rub a little around your nipples and feel the sensation.
3- Take Care of You
With kids and a partner, it’s all too easy to forget about one very important person in your life: you! What you might be experiencing here is touch overload: your kids are tugging at you all day and then at night you feel the need to fulfill your husband’s needs. What about yours?
Every day, take a few moments to do something for yourself. Listen to your favorite songs, meditate or masturbate with the most adorable vibrator ever, B Swish’s Bcute Classic Curve (Yes, masturbating can actually help improve your libido). Once a week, grab a quick drink with friends or hop on a phone call with someone in your life who makes you feel happy. Get a manicure once a month or even a massage. Do things to remind yourself that you are a wonderful, caring, warm and sensual woman. And don’t forget: it’s not all about the boobs.
(photo credit: Jomphong/freedigitalphotos.net)
At Bedroom Chemist, we know that great orgasms happen when a woman feels empowered, understands her body’s needs, and takes the time to discover what triggers her deepest desires. Since orgasms often involve our partners, we decided it’s time to delve into the male mind and find out what men in long-term monogamous relationships are really thinking.
Ever worried your honey will notice you’ve gained a few pounds? Ever feel guilty that it’s been a week or so and you haven’t been in the mood? We searched far and wide for a guy who was ready to answer our toughest questions. See what he has to say and let us know below: do any of his responses surprise you?
1. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Are you in a relationship? Are you a dad?
I am happily married and for over half of that time have been a father of one child. My wife and I are monogamous. She thinks I have a very strong libido, but I would say it’s average.
2. How would you describe your sex life and has it changed over the years?
It started off very passionately, with a lot of experimentation. When we got married, things got more complicated. It felt like my wife was less eager to explore and be adventurous. Then we tried to have a baby, which didn’t happen easily. Add to that the stress of my demanding job, and you can safely say our sex life was… slow. Slow and not very exciting. Lately, however, we are hitting our stride again. My wife is more “in the mood” lately, for some reason I’m not sure I understand.
3. Are you satisfied with your sex life?
There are times I have been frustrated. Sometimes we’ll have sex a few times a week and sometimes not at all, depending on her mood. I often feel like I don’t have much say when sex will happen. Despite that, I am happy with the level of connection and enjoyment that we have been achieving lately. The happier my wife gets, the better our sex life gets. What’s the saying? “Happy wife, happy sex life?”
4. Do you think your wife is satisfied with your sex life? Why or why not?
I would say that she is more satisfied now that our enjoyment has been more mutual. I think she is frustrated when she feels that she is not meeting my expectations. She sometimes tells me she feels guilty when it’s been a while since we had sex. And even telling her not to worry about it doesn’t seem to help.
5. Are you always in the mood?
To be honest, no. But I hardly ever end up saying no, even when I’m not. It doesn’t seem very manly to do so. My wife would probably be thrilled to know about times I’m actually not in the mood, so she doesn’t feel guilty when she is not.
6. If you could change one thing about your sex life, what would it be?
The biggest source of frustration for me is that my wife withholds physical contact and sex when she is upset with me. I wish she were into angry sex or make-up sex.
7. What’s sexiest about your wife?
She has a general zest for life and takes great enjoyment in making other people’s lives better. There is a light in her eyes and something about her smile that excites me. Her body is incredibly sexy — I just wish she knew it. On her “fat days” (her term, not mine), she wants no physical contact. I wish she knew how little her weight matters to me. I find her sexy and beautiful, even when she doesn’t feel that way about herself.
(photo credit: photostock/digitalphotos.net)
If you had to decide between sex and sleep tonight, which would you choose?
If you said sleep, don’t fret. In a recent study by the Better Sleep Council, 79 percent of women say they’d prefer zzz’s over orgasms. In fact, psychotherapist and best-selling author, M. Gary Neuman, whom you may remember from Oprah, tells us on Huffington Post that many women “would rather have a good night’s sleep than almost anything else including a good meal, time for shopping, a great workout etc.”
- We’re sleep deprived. A study by the Better Sleep Council found in 2007 that 72 percent of women said they had trouble sleeping a couple times a week. Not many people want to have sex when they are exhausted.
- Lack of free time. These days, it’s not always easy to unplug from technology and create a firm boundary between work and home life. Once you’ve read that stressed-out email from a boss or colleague, it can be hard to get in the mood.
So how can we get better sleep?
- Make your bed a place for rest and romantic play. Turn off the electronics and try to keep the room dark when it’s time to sleep.
- Go to bed at around the same time every night.
- Don’t let the kiddos wreak havoc on your sleep schedule. Put them to bed at a decent hour and keep your bedroom a grownup zone.
- Stop working at least a few hours before bedtime so your brain and body can wind down.
- Have a pre-sleep routine that you try to follow each night.
- Drink water. Sounds strange, right? But Gary cites a University of Pennsylvania study showing that people who drank enough water were more likely to get a full night of sleep.
- Listen to relaxing music.
- Call your doctor if nothing seems to work.
The bottom line? Good sleep can lead to great sex. So turn off the screens, crank up the romantic music, and go have some fun. There is nothing like an orgasm or two to help you drift off into dreamland.
Don’t be a stranger! Come hang out with us over on Facebook and sign up for our e-newsletter, where we share deals, tips, news and more. And of course, start receiving your Bedroom Chemist kits by clicking here. Happy Hump Day!
(photo credit: marin/freedigitalphotos.net)
Welcome, old and new friends, to Bedroom Chemist! We are so excited that you’re participating in our Sexy Starter Kit Giveaway Contest. Here is a preview of one item you could win just by entering your email address below.
Sometimes women need a little touch to get in the mood, a gentle caress that makes our skin tingle and creates a warm awakening down below. That’s why we love the ONO Pleasure hand-poured massage candle and tuck one into each of our Bedroom Chemist Sexy Starter kits. It’s made with all-natural ingredients. It’s rich in vitamins and minerals. And its light scent and melted wax trigger an arousal that stimulates and captivates the senses.
If you are ready to feel sensual, with a glow that emanates from deep within, click here and enter your email address. On Friday, we’ll announce the winner of Bedroom Chemist’s Sexy Starter kit. Good luck and Happy Touching!