This article originally appeared on First Class Care.
Quick: when was the last time you had mind-numbing, giggle inducing, toe-tingling sex? If you’re like most of parents, physical intimacy seems to get pushed aside when life gets busy. Who has time for hot sex when there is dinner to prepare, boo-boos to bandage, shopping trips to plan, and too many afternoon activities to count? You do!
Here are three surefire ways to bring passion into your life.
1. Be a bookworm
As fans of books like 50 Shades of Grey will attest, reading erotica triggers a fire down below and increases your libido. The stories and the characters, as over-the-top as they may be, provide new ideas for positions, role playing and ways to be intimate together. Try it for yourself!
Take a few moments during the day to read a chapter or two of a romantic, erotic novel. Once you’re alone with your partner, tap into your adventurous side and role play. For inspiration, try Bedroom Chemist’s sexy Springtime in Paris kit. In it you’ll find an adorable 5-piece French maid outfit, a flirty feather duster, ONO Pleasure Massage Oil and other sweet treats. By the end of the evening, you and your sweetie will both be shouting from the rooftops, c’est magnifique!
2. Rediscover your flirty side.
Think back to those early days of your relationship, the ones with the long walks on the beach, the secret smiles and the warm touches that would send waves of excitement rippling through your body. Once kids and life’s responsibilities come calling, we often forget how to relate to each other as lovers.
To add a little flirt and fun back to your life, send your honey a racy text or photo. Or pick a day of the week that you both come home early for some time alone together. At Bedroom Chemist, we suggest teasing your partner with a light foot massage and see where it leads. Another recommendation? Plan a short trip or send the kiddos to a relative’s house for a few days. Then explore and rediscover what brings each of you pleasure and why you fell in love to begin with.
3. Get moving.
If you want to give your sex life a boost, exercise is an easy way to do it. Health.com tells us “physical fitness can increase blood flow, which in theory can make sex more pleasurable since sexual arousal for both men and women involves increased blood flow to the genital area.” Exercise also increases endorphins, which gives us more energy and elevates our mood.
So take the stairs at work, go for a brisk walk with the stroller after naptime or pop in Dance Central on the Xbox after the kiddos go to bed. Get that heart pumping, and you will feel healthier, stronger and sexier. Make sure, of course, to check with your doctor before starting any exercise routine. An injury is no fun for anyone, in or out of the bedroom!
Remember: No matter how hectic our schedules become, connecting with our partners on a physical level should always be a priority. When parents enjoy the closeness that comes with deep and fulfilling intimacy, that joy reverberates throughout the entire family. That’s why, in all of our Bedroom Chemist kits, we include products, toys and games that ignite your passion and desire. Why? Because as moms ourselves we know that when a couple has an exciting sex life, everything – including the craziness that comes with raising a family – becomes a breeze.
Get the sex life you want by ordering a Bedroom Chemist kit today!
Orgasms: good for the body, good for the soul, good for the whole wide world. Way too little is known about the female orgasm, which is why we’re jazzed that researchers are finally giving women, and our erogenous zones, the attention we deserve.
The most recent study about the BIG O to make news is a relatively small one (only three volunteers), carried about by two French gynecologists, Odile Buisson and Emmanuele Jannini. The question they sought to answer was: can women really have more than one type of orgasm?
For the study, Buisson and Jannini had volunteers arouse themselves through self-stimulation, both externally and then internally. Then they measured physiological changes such as blood flow to measure the response of the clitoris and vaginal complex (did you have any idea that area was called a complex?). Results found something called a “functional difference” in orgasms that are produced through external vs. internal stimulation. Blood flow differed based on the type of stimulation and orgasm, causing all sorts of fabulous sensations throughout a woman’s body.
What Buisson and Jannini conclude from these findings is that yes indeed, women can have more than one type of orgasm. Wonderful. Great. So now what? With other research indicating that only a third of women experience orgasms through sexual intercourse, we know that just because a gal can climax doesn’t mean she necessarily will. In fact, women often fake the Big O so their partners don’t feel inadequate or disappointed.
Why do so many women find it challenging to climax during intercourse? Perhaps the cause is rooted in physiology, such as when the clitoris is smaller and thus located farther away from the vagina. But could it also be possible that women are simply reluctant to say what we really need during sex?
As more researchers delve deeper into women’s needs and desires, one idea likely to emerge is that we need to take control of our sexual pleasure. We need to own that O, Ladies! While sex without climaxing may feel nice, intercourse with a big, delicious orgasm is just plain sensational.
Here are a few recommendations to help get you off.
1. Know your body
What makes you feel good? What makes you shiver and shake with pleasure? Take time to explore your body and discover what makes your nether regions tingle with anticipation and desire. A vibrator, your fingers, a pillow, whatever: take a solo expedition down under and then share what you learn with your partner.
2. Try new positions
With your partner, explore sexual positions that stimulate your body, particularly your clitoris. According to Dr. Susan Oakley, an OB/GYN at Good Samaritan Hospital in Ohio, women who could climax during intercourse favored the gal on top position. Dr. Oakley says, “There’s no G spot. There’s a C spot — the clitoris. It is the source of a lot of sexual pleasure for the female.” Get on top, ride like the wind, and see where it takes you.
3. Use Bedroom Chemist
Need we say more? Our carefully curated games, advice and products bring joy and delight to couples that want to discover new avenues to pleasure. By focusing on different stages of arousal, sex becomes playful, intimate and adventurous. Best of all, Bedroom Chemist’s kits empower couples to create a sexual relationship that brings them deep happiness and fulfillment. Order here today!
(photo credit: stockimages/freedigitalphotos.net)
Should a woman expect to have great sex in her 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and beyond? Absolutely! Physical intimacy can be exciting, fulfilling and gloriously passionate no matter what a woman’s age. Here’s are tips for satisfying and fun sex during each unique phase of your life:
Great sex after 30: Make time for play.
“No matter how busy life gets, my sexual needs are still a priority.”
Many women settle into marriage and motherhood in their 30’s, which can easily disrupt their sexual mojo. But have no fear, sex in your 30’s can and should be o-mazing! Bring some Va Va Voom back to the bedroom by introducing toys, games, vibrators and other treats you can enjoy alone or with your partner. One must-have for every gal over 30: the Hidden Flower Wireless Silver Bullet Vibrator. With multiple settings and a shape conducive to internal or external enjoyment, it will leave you awash in pleasure.
Great sex after 40: Don’t worry, be happy (and have yummy orgasms).
“I am learning to accept and love myself for exactly who I am, which leads to more satisfying and exciting sex.”
Want to know a secret? Sex gets even better after 40, because it’s when women realize they no longer need to waste time proving themselves to others. It’s also when women truly learn to love and accept their bodies, glorious imperfections and all. To have mind-blowing sex in your 40’s, nurture yourself and your relationship. Do yoga together, enjoy a couple’s weekend and focus on what makes you glow from the inside out. During sex, use silicone-based lubrication such as Uberlube. It helps make foreplay and intercourse easy, slippery and exciting.
Great sex after 40: You come first.
“Since menopause, I feel sexy and empowered and more deliciously selfish in my lovemaking.”
Many women find their 50’s to be the most sexually powerful and liberating, since any worry about pregnancy is gone. With more independence, this decade can become a new era of sexual self-exploration and discovery. For great sex in your 50’s, remember to do those Kegel exercises, which strengthen and tone your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle. Strong PC muscles lead to better bladder control and help both men and women experience more pleasurable orgasms.
Great sex after 60: Embrace joy.
“We snuggle, we laugh, and we don’t take ourselves too seriously.”
The key to great sex in your sixties is finding joy and fulfillment in your life both in and out of the boudoir. What makes you happy? Are you eating well, exercising and managing stress properly? Satisfying physical intimacy throughout the 60’s and beyond occurs when you realize that your life has purpose and you are absolutely, wickedly and delightfully sexy. For ultimate pleasure, use the woman-on-top position to get aroused and spend lots of time on foreplay. And always remember the lube!
Great sex at any age: Subscribe to Bedroom Chemist!
For passionate and satisfying sex during every fabulous phase of your life, subscribe to Bedroom Chemist. Our carefully curated kits of pleasure make physical intimacy a frolicking, feisty adventure. You so deserve it!
(photo credit: pat138241/freedigitalphotos.net)
If this winter is kicking your butt, it’s time to enjoy some warm and delightful moments of pleasure. What could be better than a few O’s to remind us that staying indoors has its (sexy) benefits? Here are four Bedroom Chemist tips to keep you and your sex life hot during the deep winter freeze.
1- Bubbly Bath Time
One of the best ways to beat the cold and heat up your love life is with a warm dip in the tub. Grab a fragrant and sexplosive Bath Bomb, light a few candles and fill a glass with your favorite Sauvignon Blanc. Then put on some romantic tunes and invite your honey to join you. While he rests on you, gently rub his chest and massage his neck and head. Let him return the favor with a little foreplay down below, either with fingers or a waterproof vibrator.
What do we need when the temps plunge and another polar vortex is heading our way? Warm touch. Massage has been found to increase oxytocin levels in your brain (as does chocolate, but who needs the calories), making you feel more relaxed, less stressed and more connected to your partner. Try two of our faves, Massage Oil from Booty Parlor or the Ono Pleasure Massage candle. A little touch will lift your spirits and your libido, transporting you to a warm place where snow shovels don’t even exist.
3- Pleasure Yourself
Being the master of your domain, especially when the weather outside your domain is frosty, is an awesome way to beat the winter blues. Masturbation boosts your mood and your immune system. It also releases endorphins, eases stress, relieves menstrual cramps, improves sleep… need we say more? Carve out some time in your day for self-pleasure, whether with your hand, a pillow or vibrator.
4- Bedroom Chemist Kits!
If you’ve ever thought your sex life could use a little boost, it’s time for Bedroom Chemist. Our kits are overflowing with games, tips and the best intimacy products delivered right to your door, all for 30% off the retail price. In no time at all, you’ll feel like the sex goddess you know you are (or can be). Bedroom Chemist takes the guesswork out of great sex.
Don’t wait till summer to have the best nooky of your life. Order your first kit here, and no need to thank us when the fireworks in your life are not because it’s the 4th of July.
(photo credit: imagerymajestic/freedigitalphotos.net)
Moms, it’s time we talked about the crisis in our lives. No, it’s not the one happening in our schools. It’s taking place right at home, in our very own bedrooms, and it requires a swift course of action. The predicament? Our sex lives suck, and not in the good way. The solution? Bedroom Chemist, a sexy little service that will rock your world.
When it comes to moms and sex, here’s what we’re hearing: moms are having sex out of obligation, not desire, and their libidos are in the toilet. The sexual batteries that made them feel like head-turning energizer bunnies in their 20s are just about dead. They’re having sex three or four times a month, maybe. And that’s not all. Oral sex is just not happening. They’re embarrassed of their bodies and of how their vaginas look, smell, and feel. They have no interest in giving hand jobs or blow jobs. “Get it in, get it out, let’s get it over with already.” That’s the motto for many moms, especially those with young kids.
We know the reasons: fatigue, sexpectations, pressure, boredom. It’s also the mundane realities of long-term relationships. Is it even humanly possible to be in the mood for sex after hearing your partner strain for 30 minutes to empty his bowels? Most moms would agree: a woman’s erotic life after years of marriage and kids is about as sexy as six loads of laundry.
But it can get better. You know why? Because we deserve better. Sex should make us feel powerful. It should keep us playful and help us relax. We should want sex over that Skinny Cow ice cream, Real Housewives repeat, 50 Shades book, or Facebook gawk session. Call us crazy, but we think we should be having sex that is at times passionate, fun, cozy, tender, angry, forgiving, adventurous and exciting. We should hunger for sex even on days with work, kids, cooking, cleaning, bill paying, traffic, and impending (insert gasp here) visits from the in-laws.
And that’s where Bedroom Chemist comes in! Every six weeks, we send a package in the mail with treats, toys, tips and games that are specifically designed to help women feel sexy and empowered. Bedroom Chemist co-founders, who are also moms, understand that for women, having a healthy, happy sex life is not only about intercourse; it’s about EVERYTHING. It’s about romance, silliness, adventure, gentle and not-so-gentle touch, and tingles that start at our tippy toes. It’s about intimate exploration and reconnection, to ourselves and to our partners. Bedroom Chemist reminds us that we can and should feel sexy after having kids.
Who should try Bedroom Chemist? Anyone who used to feel sexy, feels sexy, or wants to feel sexy again, and anyone who wants to receive fab products for 30% below retail price. It’s seriously a no-brainer. Take the first step, please, so you don’t tell us over chocolate cake at a kid’s birthday party that your hubby says his penis is going to fall off from lack of use (yes, that happened recently). Remember that sexual goddess? She’s still there, we promise. She just needs a little bedroom chemistry to find her way out again. And when she does, she – and her orgasms – will be glorious.
(photo credit: freedigitalphotos.net)
~By Wendy Widom, Bedroom Chemist writer
I’m so thrilled to interview playwright, author and producer Anna Fishbeyn Ph.D., whose latest show, Sex in Mommyville, is shattering all the myths around women, motherhood and modern relationships. Sex in Mommyville has played at the Flea Theater and in numerous other New York venues to sold out audiences and brilliant reviews. Anna is currently developing the play for its off-Broadway debut.
1. You’ve got some serious degrees under your belt, including a Ph.D. from Columbia University. Shouldn’t you be teaching in a classroom somewhere and not starring in a self-written show calledSex in Mommyville?
A couple of years ago, I remember watching a show on TV where mothers talked about their non-existent sex lives. One woman said, “I’ve gained so much weight since giving birth, I don’t think I’m attractive, and that has made me lose interest in sex.” Another women complained: “there’s just no time, I have too much to do and I’m so tired and he still wants it, but I don’t want it anymore.”
I had just given birth to my daughter, I didn’t have a nanny, my husband had incredibly long hours, my parents were in another state and I was always alone. I was considering taking a teaching job and had just begun working on a novel when I came up with a radical idea: “Wouldn’t it be fun to write about moms and sex instead?”
I turned the job down, put the novel aside, and in between diaper changes and breastfeeding, I wrote essays about being a young, lonely mom in New York City, one of which became Sex in Mommyville. It was the story of a couple with children, trying to have sex against all odds and failing, and also about women’s hang-ups and guilt about their own desires.
2. Many of us saw ourselves as sexually powerful beings before marriage and motherhood. In your opinion, why does that change as we head into 40 and beyond?
Despite how the media portray us, I believe women blossom as they get older and become more confident about their sexuality than they ever were in their early 20s. The problem is that our society is terrified of aging and gaining weight and not being perfect (and by perfect, I mean a woman who’s already been photo-shopped and cut down two sizes on the cover of Vogue or Elle magazine). As soon as that first set of wrinkles sets in or the baby weight doesn’t disappear, we lose interest in sex because we’ve been programmed to believe that we’re no longer attractive.
Our sexuality becomes so deeply and misguidedly tied up in our looks that we cannot feel sexual until we feel we look good. To be powerful sexual beings, we need to be able to separate our desire from what society dictates to be “desirable.”
3. I get criticized frequently for writing about sex, as I’m sure you do, from both men and women who say we should keep it in the bedroom. Why are women, particularly moms, so reluctant to talk about our sexual needs and frustrations?
We don’t talk about our sexual needs and frustrations because the minute we say the word, “sex” out loud, especially if we’re past the age of 35 and have children, we fear being called a whore or a pervert or shunned by our social circles. Mothers especially are held to high standards of self-sacrifice and familial devotion.
When I started performing Sex in Mommyville at the Flea Theater, I had difficulty actually saying the title, because people instantly made assumptions about the show or about me. And I knew why: I had paired two words, “sex” and “mommyville,” that in most people’s minds should not co-exist or if they do co-exist, should not be discussed outside the bedroom. To this day, female sexuality is considered inappropriate. However, it is “appropriate” for us to look sexy, to dress alluringly, to appear available — but only for the male gaze, not our own.
4. What do you want people to take away from your show, Sex in Mommyville?
Sex in Mommyville is about one woman’s struggle to discover who she is after giving birth to two children — and to NOT disappear from society. She’s fearless in her battles with her husband, uncompromising in her love for her children, ambitious in her art and eager to live as a sexual being.
But Sex in Mommyville is also the story of her husband, a responsible, loving man trying to do his best to keep everything together: to please his wife, his children and his in-laws while juggling a demanding career. And most happily, the play is a comedy, it’s about the laughter that relieves us from ourselves and forges compromise, allowing us to connect to one another as human beings.
(photo credit: Simon Howden/freedigitalphotos.net)
This interview originally appeared on Wendy’s Huffington Post blog.
Thinking you’d prefer a warm bath and night of mindless reality TV over hot sex with your honey? No big deal, claims a recent, ominous-sounding Huffington Post article titled, “Sexless Marriage: How to Deal with a Decrease in Sex.” In it Laura Seldan attempts to show how many couples experience dry spells at some point in their long-term relationships.
We agree, to a certain extent. Many couples go through periods when one if not both partners are simply not in the mood. A decrease in libido can be triggered by anything: a life transition, physical changes or what even seems like nothing at all. But there’s another side to this story, one we often choose not to discuss, which is this: sometimes we get a little complacent, even lazy, when it comes to sex.
Esther Perel, author of “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence,” contends it’s not simply laziness that causes a lull in our sex lives, but rather the disappearance of mystery and novelty. Think back to the time when you first became physically intimate with your partner. You could hardly wait to be alone together. Sex was new and exciting. Sure, over years the novelty you felt during that period of infatuation and falling in love may have faded. But this doesn’t necessarily mean you should throw in the proverbial towel when it comes to your sex life.
In fact, it’s quite the opposite. When long-term couples find new ways to come together sexually, they can experience heightened levels of pleasure and intimacy. Which means, with a little relationship and libido TLC, great sex is right there waiting for us. To get it, we need to focus on connecting with our significant others as romantic partners and not just as roommates or co-parents. We need to communicate our fears, wants and desires, explore the ways our bodies and libidos have evolved, and find new games, toys, flirtations, sweet nothings, commands and costumes that turn us on.
So while we agree with Seldan that there will be pauses in a couple’s sex life, some of which indicate deeper trouble in the relationship, we also gently remind her and others that we need to nurture our libidos and not give in to boring sex. If we’re avoiding physical intimacy with our partner, we should be kind to ourselves and ask why. Do we need something new and different, or should we go back to our intimacy comfort zone? And what may be taking place outside of our physical relationship that’s causing a disruption within it?
Sex life lulls and even complacency will probably sneak into most long-term relationships over the years. But let’s not just give up and say, oh, it happens. And lets not always see it as indicative of a crisis. With some creativity and effort, and of course a little Bedroom Chemist, the best is yet to come.
(photo credit: vlado/freedigitalimages.net)
Halloween 2013 is upon us. How do we know, you ask? Let’s see. Is it because the local mall has already put up Christmas displays? No. Is it because we finally busted out the winter blanket instead of shivering all night? Nope. We know Halloween is here because for the last few weeks we’ve been bombarded with tacky costume ideas that include, but are not limited to, hyper-sexified bunnies, pharaohs, referees, bumble bees, pirates, pizzas (Thank you, Kristen Schaal and the Daily Show), teachers, tax collectors and the list goes on. And on and on.
Now we love dressing up just as much, perhaps even more, than most, but even we have to admit that Halloween this year has taken one too many Viagras. Listened to one too many Howard Stern shows. Browsed one too many issues of Maxim or at the very least taken one too many peeks at Kim Kardashian’s post-baby selfies. Ladies: We have had enough. It is time to reclaim Halloween, in our own empowered, fun, feisty, female-focused and orgasm-inducing way. The Bedroom Chemist way.
Halloween is all about the fantasy, and who knows fantasy better than women? We’ve been daydreaming about romance and great nooky ever since we saw Baby enter Patrick Swayze’s rustic cabana in Dirty Dancing. We can get in the mood just by thinking about Bradley Cooper twirling Jennifer Lawrence around in that boring movie we only watched because Bradley Cooper is so unbelievably scrumptious. Even for the Ryan Gosling types, we know that if you have a vagina, you have a steamy movie scene stored somewhere in your brain that helps get your juices flowing. And that brief and playful escape from reality is what a sexy Bedroom Chemist Halloween is all about.
With great joy, we present a powerful antidote to the testosterone-fueled creepiness surrounding Halloween costumes this year. It’s Girl Time. You time. Vagina time. Halloween 2013 is…. are you ready for this? Halloween 2013 is all about doing something different. Connecting with your partner daringly and adventurously. If nothing else, it’s a springboard into the orgasms you are likely to need in order to prepare for the family drama that will inevitably occur around Thanksgiving (Have no fear; we’ll have tips for you then, too). Ready?
A Woman’s Guide to Great Halloween 2013 Orgasms
1. Trick or Treat
This year, Trick or Treat is all grown up. Make a list of three tricks you’d like for your partner to perform on you. Try to make your choices new and novel, or at least activities you haven’t done in a while. In exchange, your sweetie will share three requests, a.k.a. treats, with you. Pick one or, if you are feeling particularly audacious, do all three on or before the 31st.
Ideas include but are certainly not limited to: Massages, oral sex, dirty talk, foreplay or intercourse with a vibrator, licking chocolate/caramel/popcorn off each other’s bodies, a new position, rub-a-dub-dub in the shower, erotic dancing, midnight sex, the trifecta (oral sex, digital sex, with a finger up the derriere), pretending to be Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence in that boring movie, or anything else that turns you on.
2. Switch it up
Are you always seeking to be in control before, during and after sex? Then shake things up! Here is what one Bedroom Chemist subscriber recently shared with us:
“Your kits are making me so much more daring. Just last week, I finally let my husband live out a fantasy he’s had for a while. He was the jail warden and I was a prisoner he wanted to have sex with. Even though it was scary and totally out of my comfort zone, I went along with it. It turned out to be the best sex I’ve had in years because I finally let go. I don’t know why, but I think it also made me nicer to him afterwards.”
3. Dress for Sexcess
Costumes are fabulous and dressing up is a great way to add some spice to your sex life. But remember: just because it’s Halloween doesn’t mean you need to embody a porn-inspired version of desirable. A friend of Bedroom Chemist’s put it perfectly this week: “To buy one of those cheesy generic ‘oh I’m a sexy kitten’ costumes shows so little imagination.” Feeling sexy comes from the inside, not from a costume designed by a bunch of fellas who have no idea what makes a woman tick, let alone orgasm.
If you feel, though, that a sex kitten or French Maid costume is calling out your name this year, then to hell with what we say. This is your life and your fantasy. Whatever you decide, just make sure it’s fun and safe. Be sure it makes the skin on your chest, cheeks and neck flush with the happy red that comes along with great O’s. You DESERVE it.
Another weekend has come and gone: did you enjoy some major chemistry in your relationship (and bedroom) over the last few days? We hope so but if not, don’t fret; Bedroom Chemist is here to add some spark to your sex life this week.
Ask your partner this question, “What have you always wanted to do and we’ve never tried?” If you’re feeling a little shy, send it via text, create an e-invitation or buy a cute card and write it in there. Be mysterious and playful.
At the same time, think about what turns you on and something you’ve never tried before with your honey. Is there a fantasy you’ve always wanted to explore, a role to take on, or a position that seems a little more vulnerable than what you usually try? If nothing comes to mind, take a little time to imagine what would really get your atoms hopping.
In relationships, especially long-term monogamous relationships, it’s easy to sink into our sexual routines, with the usual foreplay, same two or three positions and not a whole lot of risk. That works well sometimes, especially when big life transitions are happening, but every so often our sexual routines need a big jolt.
If you typically take on a powerful role through sex, allow your partner to be in charge at least once this week. If you can only have sex when the stars are perfectly aligned and your partner is not ticking you off in any sort of way, get over it. Have some angry or makeup sex. Watch some female-oriented erotica. Then do it upside down, in the shower, or right when you wake up. Enjoy an entire evening of oral pleasure like you haven’t done in ages. Be vulnerable, curious and generous sexually, and new doors of ecstasy will open up for both of you.
If you’re like most, picking out the right products to increase sexual pleasure can be a challenge. To make life easy, here is one must-have item we curated for a past Bedroom Chemist kit. We have no doubt it will catalyze some hot, happy sex.
Bundle Power Bullet
Designed in the very popular mini bullet vibrator style, the Power Bullet packs three stimulating speeds into a compact body for maximum enjoyment. Buy it now as part of our 50 Shades kit and you’ll get lots of other treats as well. Let it be known: every woman should own a Power Bullet. A Power Bullet and maybe a toothbrush. That’s it.
Now don’t forget: right after you read this and share it with a friend or two (shouldn’t we all spread the love!?), reach out to your partner immediately with this question, “What is you’ve always wanted to do and we’ve never tried?” Take some time over the next few days to explore, giggle, delight in each other and let out a roar that wakes up the neighbors five doors down. You deserve it!
Since having a baby earlier this year and dealing with stepkids who have issues and having another child who had cancer, I’m physically and mentally exhausted. My baby is now 7 months old and I haven’t worn a sexy “me” bra since 2009. I leak because I’m still nursing. When my husband goes to touch my breasts, I back off and the moment gets lost. How do I reclaim my body, my breasts in particular? When my hubby touches me there, thoughts of the baby nursing turn me off completely! ~BC Fan
Women with young children often feel as if their bodies are not their own. Fortunately, there are easy ways to remember that your body, particularly your breasts, can bring you pleasure too.
Here’s how nursing moms can give their sex lives a boost:
1- Communication is Key
Whether it’s fondling your breasts too gently, touching your clitoris too hard or using a little too much tongue during oral sex, your partner won’t know if he is fulfilling your sexual needs unless you clearly say so. In a kind yet direct way, tell your husband that your breasts are extra sensitive while nursing and touching them does not get you aroused.
Together, explore other areas of your body that may turn you on. Enjoy oral or digital sex rather than focusing on intercourse. And, if you feel like it, take the time to find new pleasure spots on your partner’s body as well, so this phase of your relationship becomes a time of discovery for both of you.
2- Handy Dandy Helpers
So now you’re thoughtfully telling your partner what makes you feel good, but your brain and your breasts are still saying “no thanks” to direct touch. As mamas ourselves, we get it, which is why we carefully curate products that focus on women’s arousal. Try these:
– Indian Spice Love Oil by Good Clean Love: Pungent and spicy, this love oil makes touching, kissing and smelling a new and sensual experience. Rub some oil on your upper body (not just your breasts) and role play with your partner, pretending you’re headed off on an exciting adventure to a foreign and romantic land.
– Mimi Pasties from Bijoux Indiscrets: Bring out your glamorous side by affixing these gorgeous adornments to your breasts. They’ll help you remember that a woman’s body is also made for play and pleasure.
– ON Arouse Oil: This powerful formula awakens the nerve endings and increases blood flow. Rub a little around your nipples and feel the sensation.
3- Take Care of You
With kids and a partner, it’s all too easy to forget about one very important person in your life: you! What you might be experiencing here is touch overload: your kids are tugging at you all day and then at night you feel the need to fulfill your husband’s needs. What about yours?
Every day, take a few moments to do something for yourself. Listen to your favorite songs, meditate or masturbate with the most adorable vibrator ever, B Swish’s Bcute Classic Curve (Yes, masturbating can actually help improve your libido). Once a week, grab a quick drink with friends or hop on a phone call with someone in your life who makes you feel happy. Get a manicure once a month or even a massage. Do things to remind yourself that you are a wonderful, caring, warm and sensual woman. And don’t forget: it’s not all about the boobs.
(photo credit: Jomphong/freedigitalphotos.net)