It’s that time of year when holiday nostalgia has kicked into high gear and our bubble hasn’t yet burst with the incessant needs of our extended family. Just like that warm fire that feels so good to snuggle up to but can give you a heat rash if you’ve stayed too long, the holidays can either build or burst the chemistry in your bedroom.
I took a brief poll from the Bedroom Chemist panelists to gather the top accelerators and neutralizers of passion during the holiday season:
Top Three Passion Accelerators:
1) Thoughtful gifts from your significant other
2) Romantic fireside chats
3) Seasonal traditions
Top Three Passion Killers:
1) In laws! (and houseguests)
3) Loose fitting pants (and the holiday “pooch” beneath)
Most of us put our passion on the back-burner in lieu of the other personal obligations (e.g., gifts, parties, hosting). And, even if we have the best of intentions, with all of our obligations, we’re just plain tired. Sound familiar?
So, what are some ways to keep that chemistry strong throughout the holidays? Here are a few of Bedroom Chemist’s tried & true methods for keeping that intimate connection.
- Hold hands. Something as simple as a small physical touch can work wonders for your intimate connection. Over the next few days when you’re running around together shopping for his parents (yes, you know he still hasn’t gotten something for them yet) or when he’s making small-talk at your work holiday party, grab his hand or put your arm around him and feel the intimate connection grow.
- Use multiple senses. Treat each other to a “pre-holiday” gift of a new perfume/cologne this holiday season. Our sense of smell is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs. Just a whiff during your fifth conversation with Great Aunt Sally explaining what “cookies” are will transform your mind elsewhere… specifically to the bedroom when the clock strikes midnight.
- The gift of date nights. Ask your relatives to consider getting you “experiences” this year instead of (more) holiday sweaters. Gift cards are about as ubiquitous as Elf on TBS this holiday season. A gift card to a nearby restaurant would be a great romantic escape; A gift card to a spa would be sure to relax the mind and body; A gift card to the movies or a local event would be a reenergizing and fun date night.
Happy holidays from all of us here at Bedroom Chemist!
There’s nothing more intimate or more sexy than physical touch. Remember the first time you held hands or put your arms around each other? That affirming touch probably made you weak-in-the-knees with the anticipation of what would happen next…
August’s Chemist’s Kit™ aimed to recreate those feelings of sensual anticipation and intimate connectedness through the ultimate form of touch: Massage. With this trio of products, we just know that you’ll soon be on your way to experiencing the “ahhh” in Massage. Enjoy!
Desire: Booty Parlor’s Don’t Stop Massage Oil
Booty Parlor’s Don’t Stop Massage Oil is the perfect way to set seduction in motion. The light and sensual scent (a blend of plums, raspberries, jasmine, sandalwood and cedar) washes over you as you’re massaged into pure bliss. This delicate formula also doubles as a sensually scented bath oil. Pour a few capfuls of the lush potion into your next sexy soak as a warm up – then take it to the bedroom for a sumptuous massage. Unlike most massage oils, it’s got a subtle fragrance and a silky texture. Never sticky, never overpowering. There’s just one rule, don’t stop ‘til you get enough…
Foreplay: The Amazing Hot Heart Massager
The Amazing Hot Heart Massager promises sensual and therapeutic benefits. The heart-shaped pouch is filled with liquid that, when activated by a small metal disc floating inside, turns hot and begins to crystallize. The heart stays warm long enough to give your partner a long, luxurious hot massage – just in time for the real fun to start. So glide the heart down your partner’s spine for a tingling and sexy sensation and let the fun begin… The best part? The heart can be used over and over again, so once you’re done, place the pouch in boiling water until the crystals disappear and tuck it away ‘til your next sensual romp.
Passion: Erotic Massage Deck
Has a sumptuous massage ever seemed a little too daunting for a casual night in the bedroom? With the Erotic Massage Deck, you’ll never have to guess at the right moves. These 50 cards are tastefully illustrated, incorporating ancient wisdom with the modern understanding of the power of touch to give you the know-how of a trained masseuse. The delightfully sexy deck is the ultimate bedside companion for adventurous lovers. Make it into an adventurous card game, by fanning out the deck and allowing your partner to choose their massage destiny!
Can you believe, all this for less than what you would spend on a monthly mani/pedi or weekly wax? When was the last time you experienced utter and complete pleasure from a foot spa? Kits cost less than buying each item separately and, lucky you, we eliminate the guesswork and blush-factor of a retail store.
Wish you could experience this type of bedroom bliss? Sign up for a subscription on our Order Page.
Let’s face it, no one is receptive to elusive suggestion, least of all when it comes to the bedroom. We hint at our desire to “get it on” without actually using the phrase “hey, let’s get it on”. Instead we opt for subtly: casually mentioning that we’re tired and heading up to bed when all we want to do is get busy beneath the sheets, asking him to join us for an at-home lunch when food is the farthest thing from our mind, slyly wearing sexy lingerie that’s completely masked beneath an opaque tee-shirt and jeans. And what are the results of these hints?
Nothing, the poor guy didn’t have a clue what we were hinting at.
Why don’t we just come out and say what we mean? And why, when we attempt to use the words we are supposed to use, does it feel like our efforts backfire? [You all know this scene: the kids are out of the house, the room is dimly lit, he’s in your bed unaware that you’re about to pounce, you sidle up to him, bend your mouth to his ear and whisper… "I'm horny." And his reaction is something you’d expect if you had said, "I have an ear infection."]
Herein lies the challenge. All couples need to develop a bedroom vocabulary that’s reflective of their unique bedroom chemistry, but doesn’t sound silly, forced, or gross.
The key is to find a communication style that simultaneously gets to the point (e.g. both of you know what you mean) and rolls off the tongue (e.g. both of you find the words sexy). I, in turn, have taken the liberty of adopting a new word to replace that old frat-boy terminology. Swirly. Yes, I’m swirly. It embodies everything I feel in my heart and mind when I’m elevated with passion.
Give it a try. What’s your sexual personality? Are you sultry, energetic, passionate, cute? Here are a few ways you can revamp your boudoir banter:
- Come up with another word that more accurately describes how you’re feeling (Ex: excited, swirly, hot) and that conveys your sexual personality.
- Lead with a compliment to make it feel more natural. We know how good it feels to have him notice how the gym has been paying off, that we smell good, that our outfit accentuates our best parts. He’ll love hearing it too, and it’s a great come-hither line that needs no fabrication.
- Language isn’t your thing? Develop a physical cue. Tug on his ear or run your fingers through his hair when the moment starts, every time. After a while the association will grow stronger and a mere graze of his lobe or tug on his curls will signify that it’s time to play.
- Write it down. Leave a note, a text, an email. We’re all so much bolder in writing. Leave a quick hand-written note saying simply, “You’re mine later xoxo” and follow through!
- And lastly there’s always the go-to “I want you.” Who can say no to that?
Lives in… New York, NY
Deeply in love with husband of 4½ years.
No kids yet but thinking about it soon.
Lives in… San Francisco, CA
Dating 4 years
hoping to elope
Lives in… Dallas, Texas
celebrated 1 year wedding anniversary!
Tip for Keeping the Bedroom Chemistry Strong… Turn it on when he’s least expecting it.
Lives in… Rochester, New York
Married 5 years with two adorable kids
Tip for Keeping the Bedroom Chemistry Strong… The three “S”: Shave, Sitter and Sleep-away.
Lives in…Chicago, Illinois
Married 14 years with three kids
Tip for Keeping the Bedroom Chemistry Strong… Action movies and sofa sex.
Lives in… St Louis, Missouri
Same fabulous boyfriend for the last 2 years.
We each have kids from a previous marriage and I have my adorable dog Knox..
- No categories
- June 2013 (1)
- April 2013 (3)
- March 2013 (2)
- February 2013 (3)
- December 2012 (2)
- November 2012 (2)
- October 2012 (3)
- September 2012 (6)
- August 2012 (4)
- July 2012 (1)
- June 2012 (1)
- May 2012 (2)
- April 2012 (2)
- March 2012 (6)
- No categories